The Reluctance Of Draco Malfoy to be Santa Claus
by formerlyknownasone
Summary: Guess who's forced to become Santa Claus to give people gifts? A very reluctant Draco Malfoy. Well his job does have some perks though... A DMHG Christmas oneshot. Read and Review!


**Another Christmas oneshot! This time it's a DMHG pairing! Hope you Fan Fiction Readers enjoy it!**

**I solemnly swear these characters are not mine and they are up to no good.**

Patience was never one of Draco Malfoy's strong points. Neither was doing a good deed, apparently. Or Christmas.

" WHAT!" Draco bellowed, his voice echoed throughout the corridor he was currently standing in. The midget talking to him flinched before letting out a whimper and running away. No kidding, his voice really shook the entire Charms corridor. Several students around him started whispering around him "Is it an earthquake?"

_Why him? _

_Why him? _

_Why him? _

He swear, Albus Dumbledore had set himself a personal mission: to make Draco Malfoy's life as miserable as possible. He was freaking sure of it.

Hmmm. Let's see. On Valentine's Day, he was forced to put on silver wings and act as a Cupid delivering sickening love letters to giggly girls. Following Dumbledore's orders on Easter Day, he put on a kinky bunny suit and delivered chocolate eggs to everyone. That's right, _kinky_. Next, he found himself acting in the school's play for Thanksgiving acting as a _turkey _no less. Now, he was supposed to be Santa Claus and grant everybody wishes?

Yes, Dumbledore definitely hates him. He could still see the tears of laughter and mirth in Ron Weasley's eyes when he saw Malfoy walking around half-naked as a Cupid, the outfit Dumbledore insisted upon.

Good thing he shot an arrow back with his Cupid's bow at Ron Weasley's arse.

He didn't even want to go on about all the ham jokes he heard last year when he played a honey-glazed ham for Thanksgiving.

_Why him? _

He went to Dumbledore's office three hours later.

" Professor-" He immediately began, but was cut off.

" I know what you are here for Draco. The answer is no. You, Mr Malfoy, are STILL going to play the part of Santa Claus this year. You will be present in the Great Hall on Christmas Eve, wearing the Santa Claus suit. Oh, it should be delivered to the dormitory of yours by now." Dumbledore said smoothly,with a small smile on his face.

" But!-"

" No 'buts'."

He saw Dumbledore's eyes twinkling now. Ooh, that fat arse.

" What do I have to do, sir?" He asked weakly.

"Oh just sit on a chair, let the students sit on your lap, and ask them what they want. There will be magical sack beside you, and you will be able pull the gift they want out of it. Give it to them."

" WHAT?" he yelled incredulously.

Did Dumbledore just said something like sit on his lap?

" Did I forget to tell you that you have to say ' HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!' every five minutes?"

He stared at his headmaster ( who was beaming at him) in disbelief. He was kidding.

" No Draco, I'm not kidding. You may leave now."

Draco was at loss for words. He left the room.

Not before hearing Dumbledore crackling evilly and a 'pop' that obviously came from the opening of a champagne.

_What would Hermione think? _

Draco made up his mind right then. He was not going to tell anybody about this.

Okay, he had to face facts now. Dumbledore hates him. He was stuck with a job of Santa Claus. So what? As long as no one recognise him and ruin his super- good reputation, right?

Wait. His reputation was gone the moment he stepped on the stage as a turkey months ago.

He then suddenly had a horrible vision. A really, terrifying one. He saw Pansy straddling on his lap on Christmas Eve, touching him all over, giggling "Sexy, sexy! I like it!" and then a whole queue of girls behind her.

He shuddered. He most definitely cannot tell anyone. Definitely.

Christmas came earlier then Draco liked it to. A lot earlier. Sighing, he put on his Santa outfit ( at least it wasn't kinky) and fake beard. He looked in the mirror, and got the shocked of his life.

" ARRGGH!!!"

Yeah, it was that ugly.

At least no one, will recognise him. Right?

He forced himself to the Great Hall, where his nightmare begun. Let the horror unleash.

Five hours later, Draco started doubting the maturity of Hogwarts students. Weren't they suppose to be too old to sit on Santa's lap? Weren't they a little too old to ask for toys?

Like Ernie MacMillian. He asked for a blond_ barbie. A barbie with the complete set of clothes, house, and a Ken doll. _Come to think of it, he always kind of doubt Ernie's sexuality. He always seemed a bit gay.

And he wasn't the only one who asked for one.

For instance, he never knew that Crabbe still sleeps with a Teddy called Mr Giggle Wiggle. He requested for another similar bear, except in hot pink in colour.

And as it turns out, even though Pansy didn't recognise him, she still straddled in his lap anyway. And poured out the story of her love life. About him.

"... Then he said, ' you need to lose some weight cos you got a fat arse!' and then so I did! But he still doesn't show any interest in me! And so I..."

"Enough!" Draco said. It was true that she had a fat arse. His leg was starting to hurt under her weight. " So what do you want for Christmas? "

" A love potion! To give Draco!" Pansy squealed, before giving him a weird look, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He rummaged through the magical sack, and pulled out a red bottle. He had to be careful what Pansy offer him from now on.

His job, on the bright side, had its perks too. It came in the form of Ron Weasley, surprisingly

" I want," Ron whispered, his ears red, " A thong. A hot pink thong."

It took all of Draco's effort not to burst out laughing. As Ron walked away happily with his, er, gift, he had to struggle not to snigger. Dumbledore glared at him. Ooops.

"Ho Ho ho! Merry Christmas!"He bellowed, trying to hide a smirk. He was plotting something that involved Ron, the mentioned thong and flashing in front of Colin Creevey's camera. Then pasting it around school.

Still, it was pretty dull work. There weren't many people with the likes of Ron around. It was almost ten, and most of the students already head back to their Common Rooms to party. He could, hopefully, be done soon.

" Come on, Hermione! Stop being stubborn! "

At the mention of Hermione's name, Draco's head shot up. He saw a fiery red head dragging a very pretty but reluctant Hermione Granger by the hand towards him.

" Ginny! This is childish! Stop it!"

"I will once you go to Santa!" And with that, Ginny pushed Hermione into Draco's lap. She vanished out of sight a moment later. Hermione blushed, and made an attempt to run away, but Draco held her on tightly.

"Um, hi." She said.

"What do you want then? Everyone one ought to get a present, you know!" Draco said. Books probably.

Hermione hesitated, before slowly said, as if chosing her words carefully.

" I don't think you can. Sorry. It's not something that I think you can give."

Draco raised his eyebrows.

" Try me."

Hermione looked at him.

"I want," She said hoarsely " Draco Malfoy."

There was a moment of silence, before Draco said,

" I think I can."

Slowly but surely, he pulled his fake beard off. And before Hermione can register any shock or exclaim, he silenced her with a slow kiss.

He pulled back moments later, unsure of what to say.

" Er, Merry Christmas?" He said weakly.

Silence.

"Ho ho ho?"

Silence.

" Well then, I guess we both got lucky tonight?"

Hermione cracked a smile, looking even more pretty then she looked a moment ago. She was over her shock now. She then lean in to him and said very unromantically,

" I think I prefer you in the Cupid outfit. Much sexier."

Draco scowled, but Hermione kissed him once more.

Somewhere up in Dumbledore's office, more 'pop!' of champagnes were being heard, and Snape was seen reluctantly giving Dumbledore five Galleons.

**  
That's it! Like it? Please REVIEW!**


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